Learning how to cope after dealing with a death of a loved one..
We as human's grow up thinking that the people that we have been around since childhood to adulthood will forever be in our lives, and when we experience something different, that's when it becomes a hard pill to swallow.
People in general are not the same, we don't think alike, we don't walk alike, and we absolutely do not deal with matter's of the heart alike.. There are many people who can grieve, and then learn to live on and other's who completely fall apart and just can not put those pieces back together, that in itself becomes a chore.
Some people will become numb, emotionless to any pain, vowing to never open up their heart's again in fear repeating the pain that has plauged their life in the first place, however, is that the solution to the problem?
Maybe not, but somehow, that method seems to work for some. But what about those that wear their heart's on their sleeves and can not be as brave as other's " pretend" to be? Could that in fact produce some other kind of damaging effect on the heart and mind as well? A lost of any kind is painful and at times may feel as if the pain is never going to let up, could this feeling have a impact on one's mind, body and soul, if not treated properly?
I'd like to think so, we must first learn how to cope with the pain before we can move on or let go in order to live a healthy and productive life.. Research has showed us that time and time again: Grief is in fact a natural sign of loss, the bigger the lost, the intense the grieving will become!! The healing part in any loss is a gradual one, and if you are or were not prepared for the lost you have suffered, the more damaging the grieving process may become. Here are some thing's that you may need to keep in mind after losing a loved one:
1. Trying to bury your pain, will only hurt YOU more in the long run.. It's better to face your lost and deal with it head on, it's going to hurt, you've just lost something or someone that played a significant role in your life!
2. Shedding tears is a normal process, you don;t have to put on a brave face for anyone, your loved one's will understand and be better equipped on how to help you.. help yourself.
3. There isn't a time line on how long you should grieve your lost, everyone handles this type of situation in only a way that they know how, never let anyone tell you to " get over it already" remember you lost someone you loved and even if the person whom is giving you this advice, has lost a loved one.. their not in your body, nor do they feel what you may be feeling!! Take your time and move at your own pace.
In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” These stages of grief were based on her studies of the feelings of patients facing terminal illness, but many people have generalized them to other types of negative life changes and losses, such as the death of a loved one or a break-up.
1. Denial: "this can't be happening to me"
2. Anger: "Who can i place the blame on?"
3. Bargaining: " Make this pain go away, and in turn.. i'll_
4. Depression: "i'm just not up to do anything at all"
5. Acceptance: "Being at peace with what has happened"