Friday, September 7, 2012

Angels In Your Sleep

It's been ten long Year's since my mother passed away in "02" and there hasn't been a day that she hasn't crossed my mind.
I remember right after she passed on, it was difficult for me, I didn't know if I was coming or going.
I'd pray and ask the Most High, why did he forsake her.
I hated her brothers and sisters for not seeing how much pain that her children were in, I hated them for allowing her life to slip away! I was angry for all their secrets that no one will acknowledge! But most of all, I was angry, because the ONLY person that loved me, was gone! I would never hear her laugh, cry, or complain again! I was angry because my baby brother found her dead! I was angry because now the only woman my brother ever knew and loved will always have that mental picture of our beautiful mother in his head.
Three children, one mother, whom always said that, "we were all we had" Died unexpectedly, October 6,2002 Leaving the oldest of the three, to battle her demons on her own!
My mothers death was a huge emotional blow, a blow it took seven years to recover from, it's funny. It was almost as if she could see or even feel my pain.
She would visit me often while I slept.
Always wearing white, with her long hair blowing around as if she'd stepped right out of a movie, instead of into a dream. She would tell me to keep my head up and most importantly, not to let her death be the cause of mine!
I have since moved from the city I once lived, and, needless to say, my mother doesn't visit me as much anymore, I guess she feels.. I'm going to be okay now , and I no longer need her to sit beside me at night,she still visits me from time to time, only now I don't wake up with tears pouring down my cheeks, I'm happy, because she has whispered in my ear, that she is proud of me! And at the end of the day, that's all I ever wanted to hear.
Rest in peace Ma!

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